A Positive Side to Selfishness


I recently watched an interview by Regina Meredith with Jim Self. The episode titled “Emergence of the New Human Part II” has two thought provoking statements. First, Jim states that our educational system will start falling apart within a decade, this interview was back in 2015. Here we are six years after Jim’s projection and I’m blown away at how Corona has crippled the public-school system. I live in a medium to high end district; they are short 8 million dollars in funds to comply with Covid guidelines. I can’t imagine what impoverished districts are facing ☹ Parents at our school received notice this week indicating a strong possibility that the kids will not return in the fall, all classes will be online. Is this the beginning of restructuring public schools to meet a new ideology???

The second thought Jim proposed on selfishness really got me thinking. Regina hit the nail on the head stating that humans have turned selfishness into a walk of shame, when there’s actuality a flip side. If a person is regarded as selfish, this label really gives someone a bad rep. Sometimes the bad reputation is well deserved. Other times a person is going through a great struggle that outsiders are unaware of. The individual appears selfish when they actually are not. We need to reexamine what it truly means to be selfish; because a person who is practicing selfcare while skipping volunteering is not selfish.

I have friends who give nearly all their time, money and well-being to help others. These super moms amaze me and I love them for their heart. However, all of these moms have one thing in common. They are tired and worn out! During quarantine, the top two givers I know both said that for the first time in years they felt rested after weeks of being forced to stop running. Both women felt the need to reexamine the pace at which they are tackling life. I think this aha moment is fantastic and not selfish.

youcanbeselfishandhappy

Jim stated that as individuals we need to be selfish in a more elevated way to improve humanity. Moms can not care for their spouses and children properly if they are worn out from PTA meetings, church groups, community outreach programs and driving all over the county to soccer games. Dads have no energy left for the family or personal fun time if they are working fifty hours a week.

Jim used a visual example to explain his thoughts, but for writing purposes I’ll use numbers. Using zero as a baseline for counting, I bullet pointed one of my friends daily schedule.

  • Mom gets a good night’s sleep, +1.
  • Alarm chimes at 5am. Mom checks the news, emails, a little Facebook and it’s time to prepare a healthy breakfast, +1.
  • Her son is having a rough morning. He’s whiney and moving at a turtles pace. She spends most of the morning arguing and now they are out the door late, -1.
  • Oops, she ate a good breakfast but forgot to pack lunch so an energy bar it is, -1.
  • As she drops Timmy at school, he reminds her about a two-week project that’s due tomorrow morning, mega stress -1.
  • Mom arrives late to the morning meeting at work. The boss is not happy, stress -1.
  • Lunch time arrives, there’s no time to order in food because her day started behind schedule. She eats the energy bar and pumps up with coffee. Coffee on an empty tummy is not good for the body, -1.
  • Moms exhausted and its only noon, -1.
  • High on coffee, the rest of the work day goes great 😊, +2.
  • Go to school to pick up Timmy. He’s fallen off the monkey bars. The arm doesn’t look broken so she puts off calling the doc because they have a full schedule today. Playing doc hoping your diagnosis is right, -1.
  • Get to church and find out a few volunteers have canceled for the weekend’s children’s ministry. Mom promised Dad that this would finally be a family weekend but she can’t say no. Fight with husband over time, -2.
  • She chatted too long at church and miscommunicated with the hubby. Arrives at home and there’s no healthy dinner. She and Timmy hit the drive through because he still has soccer practice, stress and bad nutrition, -2
  • Practice ends and now its time for homework. Little Timmy doesn’t understand, so instead of spending time with her husband she spends the rest of the night working on school work, -1.
  • Mom is half asleep when she wakes up in a jolt yelling for Timmy to get up, they forgot the project is due. Up till 1AM, project complete, lots of arguing because it’s so late, -3.

 

The total is -11. I didn’t even cover most Dads schedules that I know. A majority of humans live our lives in a stress deficit. We do not schedule enough time for our own happiness and maintaining our most important vessel, our bodies. Why is selfcare deemed selfish when in all reality being rested makes us produce more? How can we be of service to others if we are walking zombies signing up for every charity and school event that’s posted? Humans have to stop caving into organized group pressure to volunteer or over work ourselves in the office. We need to start selfishly volunteering more special time for ourselves, spouses and children to ensure our own longevity. That PTA mom your crushing school carnival numbers with will not be the one holding your hand at the end of your life, your family will. Give family and yourself precious time first. I wonder how many auto immune conditions and diseases would not happen if parents chose to selfishly spend time to reboot their own souls before going out and trying to help save another???

worldpeace

 

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